Make a New Beginning

I am many things--husband, son, brother, barista, writer, artist, humanist, former Mormon, homosexual--It's funny how something like a blog can pinpoint two of those many labels and make it seem to define my existence. For so long to the people who read this blog I am the gay man who grew up Mormon. The problem is as I get further and further away from Mormonism I have less and less to say about what it means to be a gay Mormon. So this blog gets updated more sporadically and gets fewer readers. It may be soon time to cut the cord!

I do have other blogs. AlwaysHoldingHands.blogspot.com is my blog as a husband, friend, and relative. I use it for occasional personal updates and pictures, and you are welcome to follow me there. I also have been using blog.dembree.com more and more. Blog.dembree.com is my blog as an artist, and I use it post images and announce events and make goals. I will be updating it more frequently with thoughts about the things that influence my art (many of which are relevant to you fellow gay Mormons/former Mormons), other artists, work in progress, and new artwork. I invite you follow me over there as well!

Make it Better

13 Forest Gallery in Arlington, MA presents It Gets Better / Make it Better, a group show juried by Paula Tognarelli, Executive Director of the Griffin Museum in Winchester. The show presents work by nine artists from across the country. Initially intended to highlight issues of bullying and homophobia - both internal and external - the work in It Gets Better/Make It Better also deals with racial and gender identity as well as environmentalism.

I am honored to have four pieces in the show dealing with overcoming internal homophobia from my suit vs. tuxedo series. The work will be on display February 17 - April 1, 2011, with an opening reception this Thursday, February 17 from 7 to 9 and an Artist Talk March 17 from 7 to 9 pm. The work is for sale and a portion of the proceeds benefits P-FLAG.

But I'm Not the Only One

I have been thinking a lot lately about how I could get along better with people who I really disagree with. I'm trying to temper myself a bit and stop seeing things in left/right, right/wrong, us/them terms. I read a column today over at 365gay.com that really touched me and seemed to fit in with those thoughts. I thought I'd share.

When my Grandfather Learned I was 'Queer'
by John Corvino

A diversity speaker I know (who also happens to be a dear friend) is fond of saying, “People do the best they can with what they have.”

When I first heard her say this, my immediate reaction was, “Well, that’s obviously false.”

In fact, I still think it’s false. Some people make more of the hand they’re dealt than others; some put in considerable effort, others very little. Some, frankly, are just lazy callous bastards.

But I’ve come to understand that her aphorism isn’t best read as a description. It’s a guideline. When interpreting others’ actions—especially hurtful ones—adopt a principle of charity. They’re not trying to hurt you: they’re doing the best they can with what they have.

I Think I Want to Marry You

If individuals have the right to choose their spouse, and if spouses are equal partners without different gender-defined roles, then gay couples have the right to marry. Many today -- including the Mormons -- do believe men and women have distinct roles in marriage, and therefore don't believe gay couples can marry, but as far as our society is concerned, these changes have already happened. Gender equality is a legal and social reality now, and so, therefore, is gay marriage.

There's a great editorial today making this point in the Washington Post:
Gay marriage isn't revolutionary. It's just next.