Friday, December 21, 2007

Cause After All You Do Know Best

Being home makes me think about what it is that I want from my parents. I complain that I don’t like how they are reacting to me, but what is it that I really want from them?

I am happy that my mom prays so hard and so often for me. It means a lot to me. It bothers me, though, that she is praying for God to change me. She wants God to help me find the cure. She wants God to instill in me a desire to deny myself romantic involvement with those I am attracted to. She wants to change me.

I would like it much better if she would pray that the Church would change. If she would pray that society would make life easier on me. If she would pray that the leaders of the Church and the people around me would have a greater desire to understand me. If she would want to change the world.

I would like it best if she would pray that she would change. If she would pray that she would continue to feel a strong love for me. If she would pray for the strength to show me that love and acceptance despite the fact that we disagree. If she would want to change herself.

I suppose in the end, me wanting her to change, though, is no better than her wanting me to change. I guess in the end I just want to be able to bring a boy home for Christmas eventually. And if I ever get married, and it is to a man, I would want them to come. And to allow me to tell my siblings. I think that's all. That's not too much to ask, is it?

10 comments:

[əɪ̯ wʌndɹ̟] said...

Nope, its not too much to ask at all.

I want the self-same things.

One of So Many said...

For your mother right now, yes you are asking too much.

Beck said...

These things take time... give it time... Show how you've changed into the best you are and the rest will be up to her.

Abelard Enigma said...

That's not too much to ask, is it?

Speaking as a parent - no, it is not too much to ask for.

But, as beck pointed out, it takes time. When I first joined the LDS church, my parents told me that I had joined the church of the devil. They refused to step foot inside of a Mormon church - even for my mission farewell or when I returned home from my mission. But, over the years they have softened. The last few times they've come to visit us, they even came to church with us. But, it took years for them to get to that point.

playasinmar said...

Drat, you've already seen the irony in your request.

J G-W said...

I used to really get offended when people told me they were praying for me to change.

Now I'm just grateful that they are praying for me. I'm relieved to feel that it is not my burden to have to figure out whose prayers are righteous and whose aren't. I trust that God's love for me is the best guarantee that whatever people are praying, everything will work out for the best in the end.

It is also a relief to give up trying to figure out what we're supposed to pray for sometimes, and just pray to be in harmony with the One Who Hears Our Prayers.

Your prayers are very good ones. I hope they can be answered too.

Peter said...

This is what I'd like as a response from my parents. Alas, that is not their response. In a conversation about a hypothetical relationship, my mom said that a boyfriend would not be allowed in her home, and she wouldn't attend a wedding to a man.

[əɪ̯ wʌndɹ̟] said...

my mom said that a boyfriend would not be allowed in her home, and she wouldn't attend a wedding to a man.

Don't loose hope. It may be that it will just take time for your parents to get used to the idea.

It may also be that they will never change their mind.

Regardless, its your parent's loss if they decide that their "morals" are more important than being a part of their son's life.

Romulus said...

Hey Peter! Don't worry! I'll be home soon enough so that we can all have tons of fun! And my dad said that he wants to sit you, Remus, and I down to show us of our errant liberal ways! Sigh... He's so concerned about that. He just has no idea...

Abelard Enigma said...

show us our errant liberal ways

Three flaming liberals against one conservative - oh, I wish I could be there to see that :)

Ask him what he thinks about flaming conservatives (yes, we do exist)