"At Cavanaugh Park where I used to sit all alone in the dark, and dream about things that I cannot say. You always said destiny would blow me away, and nothing's gonna blow me away . . ." (Something Corporate).
General Conference is now over, and I am now faced with the dual reality that I have to do my homework and that I can't really accomplish tasks right now.
In case I have been too vague and you think that I'm being too dramatic in saying that I can't accomplish simple tasks, let me elaborate on all that has happened in the past week and a half. I realized that I wasn't going to change my orientation. I discovered three of my friends are also homosexual. I accepted myself and stopped some terribly self abusive habits. I discovered that someone I should be able to trust had betrayed me and the rest of my family. My family was torn apart by the sudden withdrawal of secrecy. The future of my family was jeopardized by legal consequences to the said betrayal. In short, in the same week, I experienced the best thing that has ever happened to me and the worst thing that has ever happened to me. That is actually not even an exaggeration. I am writing too much about this.
Despite all this emotional overload, I really enjoyed myself this weekend. I loved the one liners of the Priesthood Session. It was nice to be able to have someone to laugh about it with (I went with AttemptingthePath). I had a lot of fun at Drex and Salad's. I wouldn't have been ready to meet everyone had it not been for Romulus and Remus. I grew up with them, and it so it was so great to just . . . I don't even know. It just was great. That night I felt like I hadn't felt since July 1, 2003. And that's all I have to say about that.
"At Cavanaugh Park where you used to take me to play in the sand, and said to me, 'Son, one day you'll be a man. And men can do terrible things.' Yes they can. And there was never any place for someone like me to be totally happy. I'm running out of clock and that ain't a shock. Some things never do change, Never do change" (Something Corporate).